I should know by now...

As I said, I am working on this personal optimism idea in spite of all the news to the contrary. I am really getting a sense that this is a turning point for me in my life and that everything is going to fall into place behind this idea. It doesn't mean that I will cease being vigilant about potential rough seas ahead, it will only mean that I will try to live more closely in the present, and when aware of myself in the present moment, make the effort to be in the highest state possible. And highest state for me now will mean being open, loving, peaceful, and optimistic. These are the principles that I wish to live by from this moment forward. Wow. I just impressed myself. Of course, much easier said than done. However, I digress from the title of this blog entry. What I should know by now is that when I am thinking about something I am going to do, and I'm thinking negatively about it, whatever it is, it's usually not as bad as my imagination of doing that thing. I think that makes sense.

I got called for a gig tonight by a drummer friend of mine. I think he called me about it around 4 weeks ago. I had nothing else, it was a Saturday night, and even though the bread was light (low paying) and long (4 hours) I said I would do it because it was a jazz gig. Sometimes the jazz gigs I do are fun and it gives me a chance to try out some new ideas. But as the gig got closer, I started dreading it. I put the seats down in my car this morning, loaded my keyboard and P.A. rig (I was going to sing too). Oh yeah, and the gig was an hour away from my house. Another negative. Got onto the on-ramp of the thruway and after committing to it, I saw that the traffic was literally standing still. I knew that if I continued, I would be late to the gig. So, I took a real shot and backed up the on-ramp. I will lie and say I made this up if anyone tells the State Police. But it definitely put me behind schedule working my way around the thruway jam. Using my GPS and doing a little speeding I did manage to make it to the gig 30 minutes early which is just enough time to be ready to start when I was supposed to. As it turned out, I was there before the drummer, who's gig it was. Forgot that the gig was at a winery. Suddenly, my mood lightened. Set up fast and we started playing. All the negatives about the gig started to fall away in the music. We were swingin'. Then, a guy named Ken, as if reading my mind, came over with some Cabernet. Wine and jazz. Just what the doctor ordered. Then, Giovanni, the winemaker said, come on guys, take a break. How often do I hear that on jazz gig? Never? The guy who hired us is concerned about us getting something to eat? These are very important things to a musician. My wife always makes fun of me when I tell her about the food on a gig. She doesn't understand that those creature comforts can make or break a gig. You are at the mercy of the place you are gigging. It's not like you can go out and get a bite or order in. I know some musicians who bring their own stash to get them through. Don't know why I haven't done that. Everything about this gig ended up being great. One thing I noticed tonight, which was new for me. I don't think I have every been so relaxed playing jazz. After the first set and the initial flurry of playing to much and too many notes, I really got into a very laid back groove. Hmm. After how many glasses of wine? Seriously, it wasn't the wine. I feel like I am different. Something is shifting for me. It's a good thing. I am very curious to see how this plays out. Like I said before, I feel like everything is falling into place for my music and my mission. We shall see, what's meant to be.